Missing Milestones and Millennials and Gen Z

Growing up, Millennials and Gen Z were told there was a set path to success: go to college, get married, have kids, land a six-figure job, and buy a house with a white picket fence. Whether these expectations came from society or ourselves, they created a ton of pressure. And when life doesn't follow that script, it can lead to anxiety and even depression.

But for a lot of people, that "ideal" path feels out of reach. Career setbacks, like the Great Recession, forced many to take whatever job they could get rather than pursue their dream careers. On top of that, wages haven't kept up with the cost of living, making it even harder to hit traditional milestones. And when you see other people achieving them, it's easy to feel like you're falling behind.

This kind of comparison starts early—think back to high school and college admissions. I remember feeling bad about myself when classmates got into schools that rejected me. Social media takes that feeling and cranks it up to 100. Every day, there’s a new engagement announcement, baby sonogram, or “Sold” sign in front of someone’s new house. And let’s not even talk about those extravagant vacations that make you wonder how everyone else can afford them. It creates a false reality where it seems like everyone is thriving—except you.

Marriage and family expectations add another layer. The idea that women need to get married for financial security is outdated, so why rush into it? Plus, the wealth gap between Baby Boomers and younger generations makes these traditional milestones even harder to achieve. In fact, by age 35, 62% of Boomers owned homes, while only 49% of Millennials do.

And then there’s the cost of raising a child—over $240,000. For many, that’s just not realistic. Some Millennials and Gen Zers are choosing not to have kids because they simply can’t afford to give them the life they’d want.

Social media only makes all of this feel worse. The constant stream of curated, picture-perfect lives pushes the idea that there’s only one right way to be successful and happy. The pressure to measure up can be overwhelming, taking a serious toll on mental health.

Even knowing all this, it’s still hard not to compare yourself to others—especially when you feel like you’re missing important milestones. But there are ways to manage that feeling. The first step is recognizing when you’re falling into the comparison trap. Remind yourself of your own goals and priorities instead of measuring your life against someone else’s. Your path doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be meaningful.

Comparison isn’t always a bad thing—it can actually be motivating. Instead of letting it make you feel inadequate, use it as inspiration to grow and improve in ways that matter to you. And remember, success looks different to everyone. There’s a good chance you’ve accomplished things that others admire, even if they don’t fit the traditional mold.

Cutting back on social media, setting boundaries, and keeping things in perspective can also help. It’s easy to forget that what we see online is a highlight reel, not real life. Stepping away from the constant stream of “perfect” moments can make a huge difference in how you feel about your own journey.

At the end of the day, there’s no single right way to live a successful or happy life. Letting go of outdated expectations, focusing on what truly matters to you, and embracing your own path will lead to a more fulfilling, authentic life.